"You're So Skinny"

In the past three days I have heard this exact phrase directed at me twice: "You're so skinny." It's a great thing to hear, but really has forced me to take a step back and think about what they are saying.

"You're so skinny." Why in the world don't I see that...? I still deal with body issues every single day. I guess I just don't see the change anymore, and I question that phrase. I know I'm stronger, and healthier... but skinny? How can I be skinny when I still have some pudge around my middle, the bat wings are still there and I definitely still have some side-ass goin' on. In my wildest dreams "skinny" was never something I imagined someone saying about me. And, to top it off, I'm still 9-13 pounds (depending on the day) away from my goal weight. So now I wonder, what does "skinny" really look like.

My goal weight something I know I want, but it seems so out of reach. I have been sitting in the same place for a while now, and I know it is directly linked to my eating habits. But, I just can't seem to get to the place where I want to eat only healthy foods and not drink some wine on the weekends. I can't seem to find that place of discipline that I know I need to accomplish this last piece. I care enough to hit the gym regularly and work myself to exhaustion, but just can't seem to care about eating and drinking healthy as well. And, when I hear I'm "skinny" that discipline part of me really says, "F-it! Eat what you want." But, if I ever want to get to my initial goal weight, or drop my body fat to "athletic" ranges, I need to buckle down and find the strength to walk the walk completely, rather than putting in half the effort. With that being said, I need to find a way to say no to food. And, I know this is going to be my toughest battle yet.

With that being said - If anyone knows of any amazing cook books that are healthy, but still have good flavor recipes, I'd love some suggestions. I have to find a happy medium between taste, portion size and health. Ugh - Good luck to me!